Steven Fanuka of DIY Network’s”Million Dollar Contractor” makes DIY seem a little less complicated.“There’s nothing sexier than a woman who can fix a home,” Fanuka says.

For weeks, the gap in the weather stripping at the base of the front door invited outsiders in like a seaport. Large insects, frogs and lizards arrived with their luggage.

I needed to get this hole fixed, and was waiting for my husband, Dan, to be in town long enough to do the job. Before that day arrived, which was not soon enough, I set women’s rights back 30 years.

I was cooking dinner. My two daughters were helping. Dan was out running an errand. As one of the girls set the table, she moved the centerpiece and a 10-inch lizard ran out.

I heard her scream and dashed to her side. I saw the reptile, surely 2 feet long, and joined in the screaming. The other daughter ran in, spotted what to her looked like a baby alligator, and we became a screeching trio.

The critter, equally horrified, darted behind the pine hutch. The girls and I composed ourselves, then huddled to discuss entrapment schemes.

“Get a big bowl and a beach towel,” I said. “I’ll keep my eye on him.”

The girls ran off and returned armed. We flushed the intruder from behind the hutch. Then, slam! My 10th-grade geometry class kicked in as I rediscovered that a round bowl cannot catch a lizard in a square corner.

More screams. Someone decided to just throw the beach towel on the lizard. He wriggled around beneath the towel. More screams. Then we put the bowl on top of the wriggling part of the towel, and exhaled.

Containment. Heart rates fell.

The girls looked at me in a now-what way. Then in a moment of unforgivable female role modeling, I said: “We need to find us a man!”

I know, I know.

My youngest daughter didn’t hesitate. “Rob!” she said.

“Yes!” I agreed.

Rob lives across the street. He’s a young father, strong, brave and always out front working on projects. So we ran outside. It just so happened that Rob was not working on any projects. He apparently had other plans. We looked up and down the street for a man, but didn’t find one.

“Men!” I said, making my poor modeling moment even worse, “never around when you need them.”

We went back inside and watched the bowl, which occasionally inched across the floor. More screams.

Finally, Dan returned. We assailed him with the lizard news. Over the years, he has become very adept at processing high-speed verbal assaults from three women at once. So he didn’t say a word, which I like in a man, and went straight for the problem.

He scooped up the towel with the live creature inside and released the critter into the front yard. Then he fixed the gap in the front door, which I should have done in the first place.

Syndicated columnist and speaker Marni Jameson is the author of “House of Havoc” and “The House Always Wins” (Da Capo Press). Contact her through marnijameson.com.

Household smarts goes a long way

Last week I introduced you to Stephen Fanuka, host of DIY Network’s “Million Dollar Contractor” and author of the DIY fix-it guide “What’s a Homeowner to Do?” (Artisan, November 2011). “There’s absolutely no reason you can’t do any DIY repair that a guy can do,” he said. Then he gave me a list of the basic tools and some fix-it know-how every woman should have. Here’s the second part of that lesson:

First, create a tool kit. Include a hammer, screwdrivers, a wrench, a 12-foot tape measure, a pocket level, pliers and a small crowbar. Personally, I have a set of pink and purple tools made especially to fit a female hand.

When you hammer, try holding a nail with pliers to gain more stability and confidence, Fanuka says. Or place an index card on the surface and poke the nail through, so the card holds the nail upright, then hammer away. Apply glue for insurance.

When installing a screw, the bigger the screwdriver handle, the more control and torque you have. Drilling a pilot hole, slightly smaller than the screw, into the wood can make it easier to install the screw. If you have a tight screw application, rub liquid soap on the screw.

To unclog a toilet: Shut off the valve behind the toilet, so the toilet doesn’t overflow. Place the round end of the toilet plunger (another must-have item) in the hole over the throat of the toilet. Keeping the plunger firmly on the surface, lift up and down a few times working the clog. Then, with a quick upward motion, remove the plunger from the hole. If the water flushes, success. If not, repeat the process.

Seal the cracks: If grout between tiles gets cracked, water can seep through and create unbelievable problems. If you have cracked grout, remove the old grout with a utility knife, reseal joints with new grout. (Make sure it matches.) Mix water and dry grout until you have an almost pasty mix. Apply to tile, let dry and wipe excess away with a wet sponge.

Filling gaps: Waterproof, non-sanded flexible caulk is a DIYer’s best friend. Apply it where cold air leaks into the house at perimeter windows inside and out (but not on the operative parts). Also fill gaps between moldings and walls or ceilings, and seal spaces between tubs or sinks and tile.

Replace worn door sweeps. This keeps varmints out and your heat or cooled air in. Get the kind that is metal and rubber, not the cheap plastic kind. Peel and stick weather stripping is good for vertical sides of doors. And if a lizard still gets in? “I’d just get a big vacuum and suck that baby up,” said Fanuka. While it’s nice to have a man around the house, when mine’s not, I have Fanuka’s book, and his cellphone number.

Clarification: Thanks to all the electricians who wrote to straighten out the electrical information supplied last week: In an average 120-Volt circuit, one Amp provides 120 Watts. In a 220-Volt circuit, it provides 220 Watts. Also, if your breaker needs to be reset repeatedly, try removing load from the circuit by unplugging stuff before calling an electrician.